Helen Gurley Brown's legacy

Today marks the death of Helen Gurley Brown, former editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan magazine and author of the seminal book "Sex and the Single Girl." Published in 1962, the book is a primer on living a "cosmopolitan" life and experiencing sex, financial freedom, and adventure as a single woman. Its chapters include:

• Chapters on the different types of men ("The Eligibles," "The Married Man," "The Younger Man"), where to meet each type of man, and how to cultivate a sexy persona
• Independent living skills, including budgeting, decorating, and entertaining, intended to make one more attractive to the opposite sex
• Wardrobe, make-up, and weight loss chapters 

I have many thoughts on Gurley Brown's role in the feminist movement and its implications. I believe that the most important accomplishment of  "Sex and the Single Girl" was to set the bar for women's independence and empowerment. This book was one of the first to make it clear that today's modern woman can and should take full responsibility for her love life, her financial life, and her happiness, and that's an incredible milestone.

One of the things I most admired about Gurley Brown was her independence. Her life was a testament to female empowerment. She went out into the world and created the life, the career, and, eventually, the relationship she wanted. This initiative and sense of responsibility and agency for one's happiness is something we can all learn from.

However, in all too many ways, Gurley Brown was a product of her times. The sense of breaking taboos by being sexually promiscuous has not worked for me and many of my friends. Perhaps, when Gurley Brown was the only one doing it and there was still some titillating value to humping in the back of a Chevy Impala or on a full-sized bed in your bachelorette pad, racking up notches on your belt by having tons of "steamy" sex with multiple partners was actually a pleasurable pastime. But in this day and age, more than likely, your partner's hands are clumsy and indifferent and you end up feeling like you're starring in a bad episode of Jersey Shore or a cheap porno.

Gurley Brown is an anomaly, and should be recognized as such. Most women, despite their obvious beauty, intelligence, grace, character, or grit, will not be launching fiery careers at 22 that take them to the pinnacle of their professions while having multiple steamy affairs with legions of smoky lovers before settling down to a 50-year marriage at the age of 37 and the start of a multinational media empire. Most of my friends, acquaintances, and coworkers have enough trouble trying to find a decent long-term relationship or full-time job, or finish a degree. It's not because they're not smart, or attractive, or personable, or hard-working. And it's not because they're not empowered modern women who haven't taken the next step in their lives to kick things up a notch. It's because they're not ridiculously lucky like Gurley Brown.

Also, building a life around flirting and affairs is not necessarily the best idea. Almost all of the chapters in "Sex and the Single Girl" talk about making yourself more attractive to the opposite sex, or finding ways to be around the opposite sex. While I have had to accept that sexuality is a very central aspect of my life, I frankly have other interests. Like creating art, and getting involved in politics, and food. This is another way in which I feel that Gurley Brown is unfortunately a product of her times.