Moving to the Beat

As a passionate lover of underground arts and culture, I really, quite frankly, don’t get out enough. As I choose to launch a career as a freelance writer, entrepreneur, and music producer/DJ, I believe it’s essential for me to expose myself to as much art and culture as I possibly can right now – really, to marinate in it, so to speak. Since I was a young child, I have been an artistic free-thinking spirit, and I can hardly believe that I have the opportunity to get to honor this part of myself now as I move forward into the next phase of my life.

Although it’s something I can no longer pursue, for much of my life I was a serious dancer. I studied it professionally on and off throughout my childhood and adolescence, and was a work-study student at a New York City dance studio in my early twenties. Dance has always been a huge part of my life, and, truly, my life’s calling. I sustained several injuries that precluded my continuing to express myself through dance today, but it will always be my first and truest love.

Watching dance is a pleasure that I still relish today. However, I have been disappointed by many of the current dance world’s offerings. A lot of today’s modern dance seems to be conceptual and cerebral, unconnected with the visceral intensity and meaning that touches me so deeply in great works of choreography. Those works which are not cerebral are downright unfocused and incoherent. I saw a performance of Armitage Gone! Dance at Summerstage last year set to a jazz score by Vijay Iyer, and I nearly fell asleep. The dancers might as well have been lounging around their kitchen table.

That’s why I was so energized and ecstatic, last year, to discover Young Soon Kim’s vital White Wave Dance Festival. These performances are held at intervals throughout the year, some by donation, some for a fairly standard price tag of $30 or so per performance. I usually go to the one held during the weekend of the DUMBO Arts Festival. Kim’s performances host assorted works by the East Coast’s best rising choreographers, some of whom travel from several states away (and some from even further; I met one group from Colorado!).

The vibe is definitely downtown. The performances are held in a no-frills space that looks like it should be in the West Village, circa 1960. The works range from mediocre to downright transcendent, and while none of them really rival the work of, say, Paul Taylor (naturally), they are all vibrant with energy and inspiration. And I have actually seen one that I would not be surprised to see on a Lincoln Center stage (just so you know, it was “What More?”, by a choreographer named Joe Celej who dances for Elisa Monte).

Definitely check it out if you’re into dance. Warning: You’ll see a lot of duds. But it’s definitely worth it, cuz you’ll see some diamonds, too. And diamonds, quite frankly, are all too rare in today’s dance world. Unless you can catch a Paul Taylor performance. ;)

www.whitewavedance.com

The Sleeping Tiger

One of the things that every single woman needs to face is the fact of her financial well-being and the effect that it is going to have on her future. While we all – well, most of us – would like to ride off into the sunset with a loving partner with whom we can share the considerable expenses associated with our increasing age and decreasing income, we must all entertain the notion that perhaps, in the worst-case scenario, we will end up alone.

Even if we don’t, there’s no guarantee that our finances will be secure. Husbands die early, become alcoholics, develop life-threatening diseases that eat up every penny of your hard-earned savings. Perhaps a truer statement should be that every woman, regardless of her single status, should have a financial plan that is stable for the long haul and for many different types of scenarios. It’s definitely something to consider.

In most of the Western world, the markets are tanking and GDP is plunging. The West is a very bad place to invest right now; returns on investments are sluggish. There is no telling if or when Western economies will recover. However, a sleeper market, one whose significance most Westerners have no clue of, is the sub-Saharan African economy. Sub-Saharan Africa is the only market which has demonstrated double-digit GDP growth over the past few years, exceeding the market potential even of China and India, long believed to be the world’s most anticipated tiger regions.

Investment banks and multinationals are pouring into the sub-Saharan African markets right now, blinded by the golden brilliance of the region’s potential. Sources as venerable as the Harvard Business Review are now touting sub-Saharan Africa as a new world player. Nigeria just became the first sub-Saharan African country to be formally listed in Standard and Poor’s as an “emerging market,” along with China, India and Brazil.

If or when the U.S. economy tanks, as it almost inevitably will, the rest of the world will undoubtedly feel the pain. Since most countries trade primarily with the U.S. either firsthand or secondarily, economies everywhere will plummet. But who will be in a position to rebound best from that? Do your research, ladies. Sub-Saharan Africa may be the most lucrative place to invest your retirement funds.

The Thrill Of The Chase... Dramatized

I’ve recently discovered a long-lost art which I think can really revitalize the lives of those single women who are so inclined. For the thespians among us, it’s probably been a really long time since we set foot upon a stage. The call of the theatre probably evokes distant memories of high-school productions of Chamber Music, college musical theatre productions for those of us who were drama majors, etc. Remember the smell of the stage, the look of the dust wafting through the spotlights shining down upon it, the look and feel of the pots of face paint sprawled haphazardly everywhere?

And do you remember the thrill of it all?

One thing that I do miss, being single, is the thrill of the chase. The call of the wild, so to speak. There is something so primal and intoxicating about seduction, about the call-and-receive of the mating game, about pursuing and being pursued. And, more importantly, there’s something so intoxicating about being the SEDUCTRESS. Being the seducer, the sex goddess, the object of desire who magnetizes her admirers with the force of her sexuality – come on, it’s a turn-on. Of course, that can occur on any scale, from a girl flirting with a guy at a bar to a woman performing oral sex on her husband to Beyonce dominating a world stage.

Now, for sure, there’s way too much emphasis put on this type of sexual expression in our culture. As I’ve said elsewhere in my blog, sexuality is a bottomless toolbox of toys, and it’s a shame that we’ve created such a reductionist, objectifying paradigm for expressing it. How-EVAH. I don’t think we should trash this very potent aspect of sexuality either. The seductress/sex object paradigm may not be the only one we should aspire to, but it can be fun every once in a while, if you’re into that sort of thing.

And a really good way to tap into it, especially if you can’t find any seducees to succumb to your wily charms at the moment, is to play the tart in a theatrical production. Playing the lead in A Streetcar Named Desire or a fishnet-and-red-lipstick-wearing graduate student in French postmodernism in an avant-garde French play will give you a great frisson of sexual energy that, like the Energizer Bunny, will keep you going ON, and ON, and ON…. The sexier the script, the better. Anything from an Ntozake Shange play to the Rocky Horror Picture Show can titillate your senses. If you’re a thespian, and you long for an erotic thrill, do consider a community theater production or a local production of a work of drama. It might be the most fun you’ve had in a long time.

Fifty Shades of Sexy

I often make a lot of observations on this blog about my single life and the unconventional choices I’ve made, such as my choices to eschew diets, reject high heels, ignore pressure to conform to certain fashion norms, and so forth. I often talk about how my sexuality expresses itself in untraditional ways that have nothing to do with these accepted conventions. I wanted to take a little bit to talk some more about my notions of sexuality.

Traditional expressions of sexuality can be great. They’re there for a reason. Many women in our culture have felt the power of putting on a miniskirt, a bustier, a lacy bra-and-panty set, or a smoky-eye-and-red-lip combination, and it’s a great feeling. Since I was very young, I have embraced these very classic avenues of sexual expression, and I still think they’re a great way to experience sexuality. They allow us to tap into primal veins of gender expression and our own fantasies about what we find attractive. From women dressing up as Playboy Bunnies for Halloween to newlyweds strip-teasing for their new husbands to the sounds of the Pussycat Dolls in their bedrooms, we should never underestimate the power of a new blowout or garter belt.

However, I don’t think we should be limited to these norms of sexual expression when thinking about or expressing our sexuality. So often, women feel pressured to live up to a beauty ideal that most of us just won't ever achieve. The pressure to be beautiful is harsh, and it affects our ability to enjoy gender norms. To add insult to injury, these gender norms often interfere with our ability to experience sexuality authentically. Every time I put on a miniskirt or a sexy smoky eye, I felt the rush that I associated with sex and sexiness. It was a heady and intoxicating feeling, and, for a long time, one that I couldn’t match.

There was one problem, though. My fantasies weren’t satisfying me. No matter how much attention I got, it wasn’t enough, and even considering that I wasn’t receiving the amount of suitors that I would have liked, my experiences with the ones I was meeting weren’t turning me on. It was amazing to me. To me, sex was a toy, and I enjoyed playing with makeup, clothing props, seduction modalities and the like. But, at the end of the day, when it came to actual relations with actual men, fantasy fell short of the reality of sexual expression. It was quite a disappointment.

It was at this point that I began to realize that my stereotypes and preconceptions of sexuality and sexual expression were primitive and inadequate. While miniskirts and smoky eyes still turned me on, and, judiciously used, were devastatingly effective sex props, I discovered that there was so much more to good sexuality and – yes – good sex. Today, I realize that sexuality is so complex and rich that it holds almost endless possibilities for arousal, and very few of them have to do with red lipstick or spike heels. For an example, please read Hanne Blank’s seminal essay “Confessions of an Unrepentant Cocktease,” from a compilation of essays called “Sex and Single Girls” published in the 1990’s, and then Google her picture. It is quite possibly the most subversive sexual essay I have ever read, and in a single blow decimates our culture’s stereotypes of what good sex looks like. If you would like a copy of it, write me at thesatisfiedsingle@yahoo.com and I will send (or give) you a photocopy of it.

Intelligence, sensitivity, articulateness, thoughtfulness, honesty, sophistication, kindness, and compassion are aspects of sexual arousal that I never heard discussed on MTV. I have come to realize that, for me, the process of sexual arousal involves many different layers of sexual expression, only a few of which have to do with pectoral muscles or a slim frame. In my experience, when I meet a man, the encounter marks a process of exploration which has very little to do with the metrics of predatory sexuality I described earlier, the aggressive and domineering seductiveness which our media teaches women to wear like a proud badge on our lapels. Instead, my experience of men, and particularly of men I am intrigued by, is a process of exploring them, their intelligence, sensitivity, articulateness, et al, and allowing the peculiar buzz of sexual energy, if it is there, to grow and grow until it engulfs the both of us like an aura of grace. It has very little to do with the shallow ego gratification of landing a “hot guy.”

Which is definite progress. :) 

Culture Vulture? Who, Me?...

I have an addiction to a publication put out by The Economist. Many of you are probably familiar with The Economist, an economic-political rag put out weekly. It covers the very latest public news in economics, business, and politics, and talks about everything from globalization to political instability to cultural shifts. It’s kind of like a more intense version of the New York Times. It’s really expensive, but it’s a wealth of information for everybody, from entrepreneurs trying to keep abreast of business trends to retirees wanting to know where to invest their retirement funds to mothers trying to learn about the Drought of 2012 so they can plan how to feed their families when the price of food goes through the roof (a soon-to-be-occurring phenomenon; search Drought of 2012 on the Economist website and be appalled).

However, The Economist also puts out a very little-known publication that is so obscure that I didn’t learn about it until several months after subscribing. Most people don’t know about it, perhaps because it’s not sold in the United States, only abroad. You can’t get it online either, like you can The Economist. The only way to get complete access to it is to buy a subscription, and it’s INSANELY expensive - $275 for a 2-year subscription, 8 issues. (!)  It’s so, so worth it though. The publication is called Intelligent Life, and it’s one of the only arts and culture magazines I know that is supremely, exquisitely worth its price.

The magazine profiles museum and gallery shows, works of literature, musicians, artists, dancers, even theories and ideas which titillate the mind and the senses. You would think that since the magazine is affiliated with The Economist, it would be dry and lifeless. But even for myself, an admitted lover of underground art and culture, it was stimulating and inspiring (granted, I have no animosity towards fine art or ballet; someone who does would most likely have a very different experience). As an example, in the last issue the magazine interviewed Sergei Polunin, formerly of the Royal Ballet. Widely accepted as the heir apparent of both Baryshnikov AND Nureyev and the most promising young star of the past seventy years, the magazine chronicled his struggle to accept his role in the ballet world and his battle with his turbulent past. Captivating reading. It’s available on the website if you’re interested, under Culture/More Intelligent Life.

The magazine also regularly publishes the seven favorite wonders of the world of various public figures. I recently read of physiologist and author of "The Spark of Life" Frances Ashcroft’s seven favorite places. One of them was “Any Ryokan in Japan.” I’ll let her describe why: 

To be honest, I much prefer my own bed! But if I have to choose a hotel my favourite would be a Japanese ryokan. Staying in one is such a different experience. It starts with a Japanese bath, which is small, deep and very hot—sitting in it, you feel your cares melt away. Then an exquisite lady in a beautiful dress comes and serves you delicious sushi and morsels of vegetarian food in your room. By the time you go to bed, you are feeling perfectly relaxed. I was once taken to stay in an old Japanese home in Shirakawa-go by a Japanese colleague. It’s like a Japanese version of Switzerland with Toblerone houses—triangular, brown and thatched. It was deep snow outside and there was no heating. We slept under mounds of quilts warmed by a hollow brick filled with hot coals. 

Mmm… the entire article was much more sensual. You’ll have to read it for yourself. ;-)