The Appeal of Fun

Another note on fun. I wanted to take an opportunity to say a couple of words about the very important subject of POINTLESS fun. Like I said in my previous post, the quickest, most sure-fire way to misery in any undesirable situation, when you’re facing circumstances you don’t like and didn’t create, is to make things worse by trying to force yourself to do even MORE things you don’t like.

Quite frankly, at many inevitable points in your single existence, EVERY pastime is going to seem like something we don’t like and didn’t create. The thing is, sometimes being single sucks and it sucks hard. When we’re PMS-ing and there’s no man in sight to satisfy those stormy hormonal urges, when we’re lonely and longing for a spiritual connection with an intimate friend, when we’ve seen one too many Dolce and Gabbana ads or Access Hollywood episodes, it’s really hard to ignore the gnawing pain in our guts that longs to be soothed by a man’s touch.

These moments come and go. And we can paint all the pictures we want, visit Thailand all we want, win a congressional seat, and sometimes the void still yawns before us. It is my opinion that a major part of why the void is as big as it sometimes is has been because we haven’t made time for US. It’s good to DO. But sometimes we have to BE. Obviously we all want to fill our lives with good, cool, inspiring stuff, and it’s really important for us to live lives that are meaningful. And to that end we have to make a special effort as single women to follow our passions and dreams, and live the lives that fulfill us.

But all of this is awfully ambitious. And sometimes we just don’t feel like it. Sometimes life just feels like a burden, and we don’t particularly want to make the effort to do something inspiring or passionate or exciting. At times like these, I think it’s really important to make time to do things which meet three criteria:

• Pointless
• Unconstructive
• Ridiculously fun

If you’re anything like me, you have a real problem doing things that are pointless and unconstructive. In theory, it sounds like an okay idea – MAYBE – but in reality you just never find the time. Plus it just feels like laziness. Well, it’s all well and good to mentor a ten-year-old and become the next Ansel Adams, but, even if those things represent the deepest yearnings of our hearts, following those dreams is still going to feel like a burden sometimes. We’re still going to have times when we spend weeks at a stretch thinking about Darren the barista from the coffee shop we worked at three years ago with the kind eyes, who was always so sweet to us when we misplaced the stockroom key. And it’s going to suck.

Take it from me, if we take a random Tuesday night to go to Senor Swanky’s with four of our closest friends for all-you-can-eat Mexican night, stuff ourselves with enchiladas suizas and chicken nachos, and get slightly soused on strawberry margaritas while laughing like a banshee at Nina’s stories about her crazy boss, we’re going to forget all about Darren for at least a night, and maybe even a few days. Same goes for taking a day to buy a key lime cheesecake from Trader Joe’s, order a really good novel or political read for our Kindle, warm up our PJs and a comforter in the dryer, dim the lights, and have a sublime evening of reading on our living room couch (two caveats to this one: the book CANNOT be “ambitious,” and the pastry MUST be “delicious”). On a beautiful hot summer day, why not take a basket to the beach or park, lay out a soft cotton blanket, gorge ourselves on juicy summer fruit and other treats, and sunbathe in our bikinis? Take an iPod and a T-shirt if you want. The sun will be all the remaining entertainment you need.

In my experience, doing things which meet these three criteria soothes the burn. In my book, I’ll have a whole directory of ideas of things people can do. In the meantime, I hope these get you started. Have fun and be lighthearted!