What I Wish I'd Known

Hi everyone,

This is a post from the blog Talking Walls: Confessions of a Single Mormon Girl. It is a blog written by a series of Mormon girls who are single and looking for The One. Obviously, none of them can have sex before marriage, and thusly their journey is a lot more nervewracking than that of those people whose pool of eligible bachelors is a bit wider.

Some of these girls have been looking for a husband for decades. It is humbling to read their posts and reflect on the magnitude of their journeys. Their bravery and strength are amazing, and they are inspirations to us all.

This post comes from a young woman who is leaving the blog, as she has just found her Mr. Right. It is a series of reflections on her experiences as a single woman and the lessons she has learned. When I read it, the words rang so true in my heart, and I knew it was something I could go back to again and again to inspire myself when I got down. I knew I had to share it with you all. Even those of you who are staunchly secular can probably learn a lot from it. Here it is:  

Well, friends, it's finally happened. I am engaged! I am excited, and nervous, and can't hardly keep a thought in my head for longer than a few seconds, but I wanted to take the time to write what I suppose will be my final blog post.  I wanted to take a few minutes and ponder what these changes in my life mean and the lessons that I never want to forget.  If ever there comes a day I forget to be grateful I want a place to remember.

Things I did right:

• Take the opportunities to explore every dream, every idea, every opportunity.  Once you marry, those singular choices come to a screeching halt. I will forever be grateful that I took the opportunities I was given to finish my education, travel the world, and make mistakes that no one but me knows about.
• Be faithful. I know the only thing that has kept me sane and happy (even when I felt miserable) was the gospel.  Cling to it. Make it your best friend.  You are NOT alone.
• When you fall down, get back up.  Let your mistakes go and make tomorrow better.
• Never regret the people that you've loved.  Even if they've broken your heart, turned their back on you, or treated you poorly - never regret the love and kindness you gave them.
• Have good friends. Wherever you can find them. When your family doesn't understand, when you feel alone in your world, when you just need a shoulder to lean on - I know that, unequivocally, the friends that I have made (though they were all married, stay-at-home moms and I thought they could never understand) have been my greatest champions, my greatest supports, and are now my biggest cheering section.

Things I could have done much better:

• I wish that I had found a way to not be so angry.  Anger is a wasted emotion, but it was part of my process, I suppose.  Feeling anger that deep makes my joy that much bigger, but it made my sorrow that much darker.
• I wish I had found a way to let myself dream.  I worked so hard at convincing myself that this would never happen that, even as I stare at the ring on my finger, I struggle to believe.
• I wish I hadn’t worried so much.  I couldn't rush today any more then I could pick up a car and throw it.  My faith wasn't strong enough to let this worry go, but things would have been a lot easier if it had been.
• I wish I had paid attention to red flags in relationships, instead of trying to rationalize them away.  Heavenly Father will guide us if we will just listen.